Manliness, unmannerliness

I have written before that one India is not another, and this new journey to the country confirms it yet again. I prepare my companions of what lies ahead, but for better or worse, there is always a detail missing or a new one coming in.

On my last visit, I had warned my parents of the poverty, uncleanliness, and unbearable stench I had experienced at the turn of the millenium. As a result, there was almost no foul smell.

This time, knowing my wife’s fondness of mysticism, trinkets, and fabrics, I was quite confident she would have a blast on the senses. She had been longing for India for as long as I can remember. I still prepared her for the insalubrity and illness, but I was not expecting the spoil to come from the loathsome behavior of men.

My woman is slender, alluring, and graceful
She draws all attention, redirects even light
In the land of chakras, her aura is blissful
It stands thus within reason to prolong the sight

Well, yes and no. We have nothing against onlookers, and as supporters of beauty ourselves of all things and beings touched by originality and art, we surely agree with a glance of admiration, a nod of appreciation. But you know the line has been crossed when the mood turns sour through long sustained gazes that desecrate the source rather than elevate it.

Why should a woman who’s modest and beautiful
Take refuge under veils as if covered by night
When men could just simply be less disregardful
Remain modest in turn, masculine yet polite?

I guess the concept I am getting at is the respect of the object of desire – object in its broadest sense, not as in objectification of genders. I think a great man displays as much virility in hunting and physical prowess than in integrity and self-control. And there lies the conundrum: I do not see many men able to step up in the second set of virtues as of late.

Lack of manners, of education… And pehaps the most devious of all is the gender interaction portrayed by the media. In the case of India, this means not only the imagery we are used to in the West, but on top of that, the portraiture of nubile white girls as open to any and all.

As a disclaimer, I am not saying that women are always innocent doves. But as a man, and in light of the recent encounters with my peers in India, I will only speak for my gender, that is more than enough.